Eric (furious_angle) wrote in blue_dreaming,

So... many... dreams...

Have you ever dreamt a lot about one person? Like, uh, six or seven dreams in a row? Four of which in one night? I've remembered why I used to say dreams are the bane of my existence. They remind me of all the important things I've been trying to repress so hard.

The first dream was spent trying to impress her family with my new laptop. "Check out this hilarious video I found on the internet." They gathered around me as I showed them, but a horrible pop-up appeared involving fisting and Lisa Simpson. I'm pretty sure I know what this dream means.

The next dream I can recall involves us fleeing the authorities together. In the dream it's hard to tell what's going on, but we both leave this one building at different times. She gets lost in the woods and I'm trying to track her down, all the while evading our pursuers. I eventually catch up with her and we get disguises. I can't remember any more.

The next dream is lost to time, but I can remember she was in it because I woke up, disoriented and expecting to see her. She woke me up in every dream... that's not something that happens often to me.

The next dream was short, but I remember it vividly. It was one of those dreams that was in the twilight of sleep, I guess. I was mingling reality and fantasy dangerously. I was sleeping on her couch (as I was in real life that night) and she came to me, lowering herself to kiss me. I awoke just before her lips met mine.

I don't remember the other dreams too well. I remember that she was in them, though. The past three nights my dreams are filled with her. The only ones I can remember have her in them. Sometimes she's the only thing I remember about the dreams.

I hate these dreams because I realized I'm nothing more than a friend, but that's what she needs. So I try to bury my feelings and just be a friend and my fucking dreams haunt me and remind me of what I want. I'm trying to be a good guy, but my dreams keep reminding me that I'm selfish and that I want more. I fucking hate this, but venting is good.
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